It's supposed to be winter but the weather is still stuck in fall somewhere. Most of the leaves disappeared, making the world look a little greyer, but it could as well be March, the last few weeks before it finally gets green.
I miss the snow, a wonderland of white, of glitter in the air. No, I think I know very well what I actually miss. It's getting worse every day. I thought it was bad in summer, but now it's a constant sting, like a hole in my heart, or in my soul, or both, I don't know.
"We will go down we will drown drown, deeper down
The river wild will be our last ride
We will go down we will drown drown, deeper down
The mills grind slow in a riverbed ghost town"[Nightwish: Imaginaerum - Ghost River]
I'm currently listening to Nightwish's Imaginaerum. I don't really know what to think of the record, I guess it needs to grow on me. Taikatalvi is pure magic, though. Probably because it's Finnish, I don't know, but it's so soothing, so beautiful. Ghost river, which I quoted above, has this sort of rhythm you cannot not listen to, similarly I want my tears back. Storytime is weird... I don't like the vocals, yet the melody is so catchy that it simply stays in your mind. And then there's The crow, the owl and the dove. I can't stop listening to the song, differently from how I can't stop listening to Taikatalvi. It's the melody, something so enticing about it. Well, and then Marco's and Anette's voices go so well together.
And then there's Song of Myself, a poem more than a song. It's interesting to listen to. The voice, the dialect... well and then that one line:
And then there's Song of Myself, a poem more than a song. It's interesting to listen to. The voice, the dialect... well and then that one line:
How can you "just be yourself" when you don`t know who you are?
Stop saying "I know how you feel"
How could anyone know how another feels?[Nightwish: Imaginaerum - Song of Myself]
Guess that's relevant, eh?
It's frustrating, to a certain extend, to know how true it is. It's another critical time... as if September and October haven't been enough. I'm supposed to see the shrink again on Wednesday. Not even going because I'll be at my parents' for sewing. Screw that. I haven't even called her yet, and I don't know how to. Well, she's the one who said I actually don't have any problem at all. Gotta love my vivid imagination. -.-°
Not much more. Got my love back, the past two weeks have been going mostly well. We've been to the Christmas market with Christiane and stuff. Lots of fun. :) We went to the one at Neumarkt last night but it was terribly crowded. I mean sure, what do you expect on a Sunday night, but still. We found this Lonkero-sign at the tinsign-stand, still stoked. I mean come on, nobody knows Lonkero here, and it was like the first sign we saw. We're gonna put it up in the kitchen some time this week. Heheh. It's like some inside joke, really xD Either way, it's gonna look great.
Not much more. Got my love back, the past two weeks have been going mostly well. We've been to the Christmas market with Christiane and stuff. Lots of fun. :) We went to the one at Neumarkt last night but it was terribly crowded. I mean sure, what do you expect on a Sunday night, but still. We found this Lonkero-sign at the tinsign-stand, still stoked. I mean come on, nobody knows Lonkero here, and it was like the first sign we saw. We're gonna put it up in the kitchen some time this week. Heheh. It's like some inside joke, really xD Either way, it's gonna look great.
I keep getting these flashbacks today. Sitting in our shared flat in Puistola, watching TVD and eating those sourcream&onion crisps. Running along the cliffs on Suomenlinna. Sitting in the mids of reeds in Viikki - spending the whole day outside, returning home starved, with a slight headache from squinting in the bright sun, but unbelievably happy. Swedish lessons and lunch at Svenska högskolan. Stockholm. Tallinn. Seagulls calling. ...
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