Created for a place I've never known

This is home

I've got my memories always inside of me
But I can't go back, back to how it was
I believe you now - I've come too far
No I can't go back, back to how it was
Created for a place I've never known

This is home
Now I'm finally where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching for a place of my own
Now I've found it - maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery, I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back, back to how it was
And I got my heart set on what happens next
I got my eyes wide, it's not over yet
We are miracles and we're not alone

(Chorus)

And now after all my searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see the sunset
I'm gonna call it home

(Chorus)

Now I know
Yeah, this is home

I've come too far
And I won't go back
Yeah, this is home
[Switchfoot]
 

I'm gonna come back to walk these streets again.

Sunrise Avenue - Hollywood Hills from Anorak Agency on Vimeo.

Now this is not the time or the place
for a broken-hearted,
'cause this is the end of the rainbow
where no one can be too sad
No I don't wanna leave
but I must keep moving ahead
'cause my life belongs to the other side
behind the great ocean's waves
Bye bye, Hollywood Hills
I'm gonna miss you wherever I go
I'm gonna come back to walk these streets again
Bye bye, Hollywood Hills forever
Thank you for the morning walks on the sweet sunset
And for the hot night moments
For the fantasy in my bed
I take part of you with me now
and you won't get it back
and a part of me will stay here,
you can keep it forever, dear
Bye bye, Hollywood Hills
I'm gonna miss you wherever I go
I'm gonna come back to walk these streets again
Remember that we had fun together
Bye bye, Rodeo Girls
I'm gonna love you wherever I go
I'm gonna come back so we can play together
Bye bye, Hollywood Hills forever
Long distance love doesn't work
All the miles in between getting naughty
No I don't wanna go
I don't wanna go
Bye bye, Hollywood Hills
I'm gonna miss you wherever I go
I'm gonna come back to walk these streets again
Bye bye...
Bye bye, Hollywood Hills
I'm gonna miss you, wherever I go
I'm gonna come back to walk these streets again
Remember that we had fun together
Bye bye, Rodeo Girls
I'm gonna love you, wherever I go
I'm gonna come back so we can play together
Bye bye, Hollywood Hills forever
[Sunrise Ave]

Joka. ikinen. sana. ♥
Enää 5 viikkoa.  ♥

Reflections still look the same to me

So. I ended up buying the new Florence&the Machine -record Ceremonials without ever truly having heard anything about her. I mean it's an artist everyone seems to talk about and everyone seems to love to pieces, but I never really got around listening to her because I was too busy with my own stuff music to check it out. Well, looks like I missed out on something because, frankly - this woman is amazing. I can't even begin to describe how obsessed I am with No Light, no light

... and the rest of the record will surely bring out some more favourites. Like Never let me go. Or Breaking Down Or the gospel-ish Lover to lover, or Heartlines, or All this and Heaven too. Notice something? There's only 12 tracks on the actual record, that's as good as half of it and I haven't even listened to the specials on CDII yet. So stoked. ^__^'

Tomorrow I'll finally get to see my 2010 great musical love, Mads Langer. It's so weird when one little song refuses to get out of your mind and then, when you decide to take a closer look, you discover a whole new world. I mean all through the last year, his music has been some sort of stronghold cementing connections and memories. Stille før Storm will always make me think of the darkest -and yet lightest- November I've ever experienced and will forever put me in a Christmas mood, seeing the lights illuminate Aleksanterinkatu and the rest of the city in sombre afternoon hours.
Remains of You will always mirror my feelings towards this home, this haven, even though the song is probably about a relationship gone wrong. - And well maybe that is precisely why it will always remind me. Imagination tempts me with a smile, draws me in and leaves me running wild. No sedation to swallow with my pride. An avalanche is breaking loose and I can't hide. -- The stars are falling like rain, crashing all around my head tonight, and a dark sky is all that remains of you. I don't know, it just wraps it up completely. Every line. Realization that I must have let go, and I'm still spinning all alone.

Either way, tomorrow's the show. I still have to look up directions (even though Maike is going to drive, I guess), the outfit's decided. Nope, I'll never get over that part. XD I'm a little concered I'm just going to cry all the time, but even if I will I'm sure it's going to be worth every single tear.

Even though I went to see theBaseballs just a few weeks ago and it was totally awesome (did anyone expect anything else) I feel like I haven't been on a show ever since Uniklubi performed at VirginOil in April. Like... whoa.
I'm a little concerned because I wasn't in the best shape when seeing theBaseballs and left the hall like 2 times or something because it was so incredibly hot and crowded and I sort of panicked because of my blood-pressure, resulting in me missing a couple of songs. Well, in a 2h15min performance that's not too much of a let-down, but still. Bummer. I hope I'll be fine tomorrow, but then I'm sure the venue won't hold 2000 people... ^^ I'll just wait and see what happens - and drink enough!

I had the worst flashback on Thursday when I came from Aqualand with Christiane. The situation was so much of a parallel to our trip to Serena in Espoo that I ended up being completely disoriented and startled every time people in the train started speaking because I expected them to speak Finnish, but they didn't. I was miserable by the time I reached home, but got through it after all. I had to pay with a little lack of sleep, but then Friday payed up for that because I got to spend the afternoon with my lovely little boy all alone for the first time. I mean I babysat him before but then he was asleep! Yesterday I actually got to pick him up from daycare. He's the most adorable thing ever, all he did when I came in was walking up to me and giving me the lovliest hug, letting me pick him up and carry him. All cuddly, the little man ^_^' He even sat in the buggy without any discussion whatsoever, I was completely surprised. He let me push him all the way home, telling me all kinds of things about the surroundings as usual. It's amazing, his 2-syllable words first turned into 4-syllable ones, sometimes he's even forming really short sentences already. What really makes me laugh is when he immitates things he picks up at home, like Oh nein or Meine Güte XD It's just so funny! He also remembers things, games we played before. And he has quite the mind of his own!! Britta took us grocery-shopping when she came home, so I also got to explore escalators and elevators together with him, as well as a shoestore and just ... everything. :)

I'm still waiting for the download to finish. It's so amazing I get to see Kuorosota thanks to Kati, I'm really enjoying the show and yah, being a fangirl or not, I really think Hämeenkyrö is doing really really well. As is Jussi. Even though his clothing style is completely ridiculous and he totally needs a stylist. Maybe Gekko will do. ... :D
It's weird though, calling a truce after years. It's amazing, I'm actually happy things were worked out because all of this was completely unnecessary and useless but... still :) I never really let myself reflect on it because that's how things change and people grow up and it's a good thing, but actually it makes me think about myself and my past decisions. It's weird how some things grow less and less relevant and how easy it is to see past things... well. It's too late to walk down memory lane right now.

I'm curious whether I'll dream weird stuff again this night after the past nights had dreamy visitors of two very unlikely gentleman, one of them causing an argument between me and my love XD My dreams keep getting better. XD
Calling it a night now... :)

heralds of spring

 The air tastes of spring tonight.
A faint, but distinct scent of wet soil. No flowery scent yet, no grass - it's just the earth finally starting to breathe again. It's been a prisoner of ice and snow ever since November.
But it's giving up now, the snow - on days like these you can watch it melt away in the sun, getting less and less from on hour to the next in the afternoon.... the meltwaters are flooding the river in the area. It's completely free of ice now, but still seems to stand still. The movement is up - rising to the shores - not foward. 

...

It's the air that's different.
If you catch a sheltered spot, the sun is so strong that you can feel it warm you. The wind ... the everlasting wind doesn't bite anymore, but still it demonstrates its reign: it's not that warm yet.
The air is dusty in the city. When you look into the distance, you can see a veil of dust over everything. But the sky... the sky is immaculate in its blue, with feathery clouds chasing along, and the sun so bright.

...

White and violet on a meadow that has clearly suffered from its icy captivity: crocusses and snowdrops fight their way up, the first signs of spring. Nature arises slowly. My so beloved green is hardly anywhere to be seen yet, except for those tiny, colourful heralds of spring.
Green. Who would have thought I could miss green? And yet I do.

....soon.
Soon.

♥ [or: a slight overuse of the word 'beautiful']

... and the name of my new musical love is:

Mads Langer

WOW!! I mean, I already was completely obsessed with Beauty of the Dark on TVD, and the fact that they choose another song right away made me smile, because, hey, they do know how to find some good music - but who would have thought that basically each and every song of his is just totally beautiful? It's really been quite a long while that I found an artist that's so vocally and lyrically talented - I'm really impressed. So right now I'm basically living on youtube, but I'm totally going to get the record next month [you know, so much month at the end of the money...] - especially since the record includes a DVD with a concert from Copenhagen.. actually I think it's the concert that's on youtube as well. ... which then is absolutely beautiful.
At the moment it's still so hard to choose, though, because I'm falling in love with a song and then I listen to the next one and fall in love with it just as much.
But right now I'm obsessing over Stille før Storm, which apparently is a cover that was recorded for some tribute record. Seriously, apart from the fact that I cannot grasp just how vocally talented that guy is - how can somebody actually make a language like Danish sound beautiful?! I'm so taken away ... 


Well, enough drooling.
Today was wonderful. First of all the sun was shining for the first time in ... I guess a bit more than a week again. -7 or even colder again, and the wind is really somehow deadly
Met for lunch with Melanie who's finally back from Lapland (and I'm totally going there on one of the ESN tours next year) and after that we took a little walk because I showed her the hotel her friends are going to stay in over the weekend and then we've been to levykauppa - or levykauppaa, actually, since we've been to two XD - and then after that finally went to Café Java again, where I had a HUGE chocolate muffin and of course a hot chocolate. Gosh, I love this place. It's so cozy and it's really the best spot to sit and watch the people walking / rushing past. I don't know, Mannerheimintie is like the heartbeat of the city anyway, and sitting up there at Café Java you'll just simply get the pulse of it all. I just love the view down the street, seeing Stockmann and Ylioppilastalot/-aukio etc... ah... ♥ Beautiful, beautiful Helsinki.

Kristina and I finished  planning our Advent-Dinner for tomorrow. We're the spontaneous kind I guess.  So I'll have to go buy some stuff tomorrow and then there'll be lots of preparing. I'm curious about her friends and generally about the whole night. I might get to speak Finnish, yesh. Anne&Gabriela are going to be here as well, too bad Melanie has her friends over. But we're already so many that it wouldn't really work out with three more. However, I might join them at Bäkkäri later in the night. I'm not sure if I really want to travel back to town for the night, returning at like 5 in the morning or so. I love the nights out but Puistola is a stupid place to live when having to get back to. I'll see. I guess I'll rather join them on Saturday. And then there'll be our two roadtrippin weekends. I sort of forgot that Kouvola is next week already. Eeeeeep ^______^' I mean I kept mentioning it, but I hadn't realised it's really next weekend already. Can't waiiit. It's going to be so much fun with the girls :D
Haha and I'm of course looking forward to see the same hackfressen as on any other show... ;D Shush. Anyway: it's going to rock. Period. We're also seeing Naked the night before, so yay.

I've been writing on this for hours now, kept being distracted by everything and anything, so... guess I should stop and think of sth more tomorrow or on the weekend or whenever. 
Of course, I have to add the song.