Just because we're friends on facebook ...

I just read a blog I shouldn't be reading but then again, what the hell, this is the internet. Actually I'm reading a lot of blogs I shouldn't be reading - out of which I still miss one dearly. I used to enjoy reading it because it would be very entertaining and the author wrote things about people that I often agreed with, but would have never dared to write online. The blog was closed because of some dispute friends had with the author and their friends, and by now I've forgotten the link. Nevermind.

When, a couple of days ago, I mentioned "somebody in my friendslist" and got a reply, I knew there was going to be a reaction of some kind. Of course, quite the traitors we are, spending the last three years badmouthing each other, fighting online, triggering reactions and using shows to be fed with new stuff to talk about ... just in order to incidentally meet once, have a couple of half-drunk (i was. 3/4-drunk, tbh) chats between restroom and table and then add each other on facebook. Re-add, I might note - been there, done that.
Big deal - friends on facebook. Maybe it's a modern act of being able to communicate, of being able to say hello to each other, of being able to forget old grudges. I mean seriously, all of this was some three years ago and we're all twenty-something, not in Kindergarten. Nobody is replacing anyone and nobody is acting on revenge. It's not making everything unsaid and undone, it's not about ignoring what's happened in the past, it's just putting a freaking end to a story that's been useless to carry on pretty much from the beginning.
Besides, adding someone on facebook is not declaring them as the next best friend or anything close to it. - Actually I don't even think it's an act of making friends at all. It's more like acknowledging to know somebody. Add them to a list of people you know and talk to.

What I don't understand  - have never, in all those years, understood - is why there is an unwritten law that tells friends to hate everyone their friends hate.
This is how things go: 
You have a huge fight with somebody and a while later you get to know someone else, and still being in the middle of things (in both thoughts and actions) you tell your own story and in it, you include all your anger and hatred and bad words about that third person. So your new friend thinks, whoa, what a fucking asshole, and without ever having talked to that third person before, decides that they suck and SO EASILY joins in the hating and badmouthing, eagerly making oneself the number one ally - and eventually the new number one "enemy" of the third person. 
We've all done it. Do it, probably, every time we meet someone new that's worth the effort. And also do it both ways - the joint hating and the talking. It's a subconscious thing to do: People talk about people, and people make up their minds about others. Being friends with somebody usually includes having a similar opinion on things - and if they fought with somebody, why should that person be of any interest?
Probably it's also an act of self-preservation - liking that third person could look like some sort of betrayal, could put you in a different light, could make you a possible traitor. I understand. I DO understand (even thought I wrote the opposite above), but what I don't understand is why it is necessary to make it such a big thing.


'Cause... let's face it - we NEVER met. 
We never talked to each other. 
We never knew who the other is.
Now tell me how can anyone judge this facebook-nonsense when they've never even met me? Even more so, why give it second thoughts when one doesn't even know the whole story, not to speak of having heard any of it from both sides? 
But just on a short note:
It's not about friendship. I don't even know if you can be friends with somebody you used to fight with for years.
But it's about growing up and being able to talk about what happened. 

Things change. The world has moved on.