looking back.

It's weird how "the blogging world" - or lets say its creators - seem to go out of their way to present both the best sides of their expiring year 2010 as well as the "greater faster farther" goals for 2011. People always seem to strive for the best - so 2010 was the best year, and now there are the best ideas for the next one. There were the best friends, best places, best songs, best news ~ and all of this is going to get even better in the next year.

Who really remembers that distant night in which the fireworks sounded the bell for a new decade, or the morning when suddenly the date had to be written '10 in the end, now that we were finally used to writing two 0 in a row? Who really pays attention to what actually happened between that 0 in the end and that promising, new 1? - To which of the promises were held, and which were broken? 

Everything  is always about the best. Conflicts never find a place in the discussion, never are there any failures listed, everything always makes a year "the best in a long time". The change that was promised for 2010 is long forgotten - what's important is the final result, nevermind the oaths and ideals, the "let's stay friends"s and "how much I love you"s of thenight the year changed from 09 to 10 - alas, not even enemies remain enemies: we have enough old friends to choose from.
Harsh words are buried under a veil of a surprising forgetfulness - the year is over, who cares what was said when it started? Looking back on the old one, sometimes the greatest enemies are forgotten in that last week between the years - who cares about the old, outdated hatred? Dearest friends are thrown aboard in the course of a year, and why waste the time to look back at its end and think that maybe there was something good about the friendship, instead of acting like they've been assholes all along and "actually we never really were friends". Nobody ever truly sticks to their 'old' words - opinions change with the days and the season, but why is it so hard to say: "I changed my mind because" instead of "I changed my mind."?

The year 2010 is past before it's even over: put into some archive of good and bad memories (the latter placed somewhere in the back of the head, never to be looked upon again unless we feel depressed and lonely); and as soon as people have forced themselves through all those 'oldfashioned and food-stuffed Christmas-ceremonies' (since this is what most people seem to perceive Christmas as - a bothersome, if not even sorrowful time), everything is set to one final backward glance, self-satisfied and content, as 2010 was oh-so-much of a success. And then there are the new year and the infamous resolutions. The last week of the old year running out faster and yet so much slower than any other week, facing all the expectation. 

And, yes, why should we look back on the downsides of 2010? Why should we admit pain, disappointment, or the slow process of losing a friend when all the joy, surprises and swift moments of falling in love make our lives look so much more fabulous? Who really cares about the bad news of yesterday - last week, last month ... last year? 
Better note all the good news, lest the friends, acquaintances, people-I-actually-don't-care-about,-but-curiosity-is-such-a-delightful-addiction think I'm a depressed neurotic emo who can do nothing but complain. 

So.
Our lives have been good. Sure there've been some dark sides, but hey, the good ones win. Good trumps bad, as usual.

Let's take a moment of our precious time and think. Yes, our success is important. But is it really necessary to pride ourselves, year after year, with our personal glories? With how we succeeded, how we made more friends than others, how we finally let go of someone long-forgotten, how we finally know how to handle our lives better?
- Why do we always have to have had a better year than all the rest? Why do we have to be the ultimate top, having experienced most of the highlight-events, have to  have made the best friends, have to have received the most compliments for something?
Why, when during the next 365 days there will at least be one on which we have to face the world and admit: I failed. - Failed a friend because I didn't write that message, failed my parents because I made a decision they do not approve of, failed my partner because I demanded more understanding that I can put up myself - failed myself because I loaded my back with a huge amount of expectations that I couldn't handle?  
Why can we not look back in a balanced fashion and say: this and that changed - this changed to the better, but that changed to the worse? Why can we not sit down for a moment and admit, wow, actually, this one thing didn't change at all? 

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